Gay Sex Toys for Beginners: Where to Start
There is a first time for everything, and this one is nothing to be shy about. If you have found yourself curious about adding a toy to your solo nights, or to the hours you spend with a boyfriend or a guy you have just met, you are in very good company. Most men who own toys started exactly where you are right now: a little intrigued, a little unsure, and not certain which corner of the internet to trust. Consider this your friendly, no-shame place to begin.
For most guys, the easiest first toys are a stroker, a prostate massager, a small butt plug, or a cock ring. Choose body-safe materials (silicone, ABS plastic, or stainless steel), keep a good bottle of lube within reach, and for anything that goes near your ass, only ever use a toy with a flared base. Start with whatever you are genuinely curious about — not the most advanced thing on the shelf.
It is normal, it is common, and it is meant to feel good
Let us clear the air first, because a little internalized awkwardness is the most common thing standing between men and a very good time. Wanting a toy does not mean anything is missing from your sex life, your relationship, or your body. Plenty of partnered guys use toys together, and plenty of single guys use them solo, and neither is more "real" than the other. Toys are simply another way to explore what your body enjoys — the same way a new position or a new partner is. Curiosity is the whole point.
The other quiet worry — that shopping means committing to something intense — is worth letting go of too. Beginner toys are called beginner toys for a reason: they are small, forgiving, and designed to build confidence rather than test it. You can start slow, keep it entirely to yourself, and change your mind at any point along the way.
The four best places for men to start
There are four categories that make up almost every man's first toy, and any one of them is a great door to walk through. Pick the one that matches the fantasy already living rent-free in your head.
Strokers and masturbators
A stroker is a soft, sleeve-shaped toy you use with your hand — think of it as an upgrade to what you already do, with more texture and more sensation. It is far and away the most popular first purchase for men, because it needs no new skills, works beautifully solo, and can be brought into play with a partner. If this is where your curiosity points, browse our Male Masturbators & Strokers collection, and read Male Masturbators, Explained for a fuller tour of styles and textures.
Prostate massagers
The prostate is a walnut-sized spot that many men describe as a whole new dimension of pleasure once they find it. A prostate massager is shaped to reach it comfortably and to stay put, so you can relax into the sensation rather than work for it. It is a favourite first step into anal play precisely because it is designed for the job. Our guide on how to choose a prostate massager walks you through sizes and shapes without the guesswork.
Butt plugs
A small plug is a gentle, low-effort way to explore the feeling of fullness and to warm up for more. Beginners should look for something slim, tapered, and made of body-safe silicone — and, as always, with a flared base. Plenty of guys enjoy wearing one solo or during foreplay with a partner, and it asks very little in the way of technique.
Cock rings
A cock ring is the simplest entry point of all: a stretchy ring that can make erections feel firmer and orgasms feel more intense. Start with a soft, stretchy silicone ring rather than anything rigid, and never leave one on for long stretches. It is an easy, inexpensive way to change the sensation for you solo or for two guys together.
| Starter toy | What it does | Best for | Difficulty |
|---|---|---|---|
| Stroker | Adds texture and sensation to using your hand | Solo nights and easy partner play | Very easy |
| Prostate massager | Reaches and stimulates the prostate | A first, comfortable step into anal pleasure | Easy to moderate |
| Butt plug | Creates a satisfying sense of fullness | Warming up, solo or with a partner | Easy to moderate |
| Cock ring | Firmer erections and heightened orgasms | A cheap, low-commitment first buy | Very easy |
What "body-safe" means — and why it is worth caring about
"Body-safe" is the one bit of shopping vocabulary worth learning before you spend a cent. It means a toy is made from a non-porous material that will not trap bacteria, and is free of the cheap, questionable chemicals sometimes used to make bargain-bin toys soft. In practice, that means looking for three materials by name: medical-grade silicone, ABS plastic, and stainless steel. All three are smooth, easy to clean thoroughly, and built to last.
What to sidestep: vague "jelly," "TPR blend," or unlabelled toys with no clear material listed and a suspiciously low price. If the description is coy about what the toy is actually made of, treat that as your answer. A single good body-safe piece beats a drawer of mystery ones every time. Once yours arrives, our sex toy care and cleaning guide will keep it in great shape for years.
Match your lube to your toy. Water-based lube plays nicely with everything, including silicone toys and condoms, which makes it the safest all-purpose choice for a first kit. Save silicone lube for non-silicone toys, since it can slowly degrade a silicone surface over time.
The golden rule for anything anal
If you take one thing from this entire guide, take this. Anything you put in your ass must have a flared base — a wide, flat end that stops the toy from traveling somewhere it cannot easily come back from. The body's anatomy makes this non-negotiable, and it is the single reason purpose-built anal toys exist rather than improvised ones. The good news is that every proper prostate massager and butt plug is designed with exactly this in mind.
Flared base, plenty of lube, and no rush. Those three habits turn nervous first-timers into confident regulars faster than anything else.
The second half of the rule is lube, and then a little more lube. Unlike some other kinds of play, the ass does not self-lubricate, so a generous amount is not optional — it is what makes everything feel good instead of tense. Go slow, breathe, reapply often, and let your body set the pace. Comfort is not a compromise here; it is the entire point.
Never use a toy anally without a flared base, and use plenty of body-safe lube every single time. Stop if anything hurts — discomfort is a signal, not a hurdle to push through. Clean toys before and after each use, and if you share a toy with a partner, put a fresh condom over it or wash it thoroughly in between.
Budget, discretion, and buying like a grown-up
You do not need to spend a fortune to start well. A quality body-safe cock ring or a slim plug is genuinely inexpensive, a good stroker sits comfortably in the middle, and prostate massagers span from modest to premium depending on their features. The smart move for a first buy is one well-made body-safe toy in the category you are most curious about — not a bargain multipack you will not quite trust. Think of it as buying one good thing rather than several throwaway ones.
Beginner questions, answered
Do I need a partner to enjoy any of this?
Not at all. Every toy here is fantastic solo, and most are just as fun to bring into play with a boyfriend or a hookup. Solo exploration is often the best way to learn what you like before you share it with someone else.
Which single toy should a total beginner buy first?
If you want the gentlest possible start, a soft silicone cock ring or a stroker asks nothing new of you. If you are curious about anal pleasure specifically, a beginner-friendly prostate massager is the most rewarding first step. Follow the curiosity, not the hype.
Will anyone know what I ordered?
No. Every Himhive order ships in plain, discreet packaging with private billing — nothing on the box or your statement hints at what is inside. Discretion is built in, so you can shop with total peace of mind. Questions? Our team is a quiet email away at care@himhive.shop.